Nothing and Noone

 She'd heard the words so often ,she was good for nothing, she was fit for no one , she'd amount to nothing because noone is going to ever love her, mostly from her mother's gossip to her friends. Then one day she grew to understand that the she her mother spoke of was her, yes Her Daughter. 

How much faith her mother gave her to the value of nothing and no one was the Godsend she was given on her Arrival  to the earth. So she sought out nothing and found no one and her union with the simili was her joy.

Anytime she complained to her mother around an ailment or a difficulty her mother's response was often in the words "you are complaining about nothing, get on with what you're supposed to be doing and being quiet., as her complaint was irritating as she was only experiencing growing pains "

Hm

So in her reflection, nothing consisted of growing pains and created difficulty that was merely a distraction as far as she was aware , for nothing is not a thing , nothing was not a reality. Yh

When nothing comes into the body as a growing pain, it seeming comes from nowhere and a gift from noone as an experience to observe , this became an acceptable understanding until one day she heard, God is watching us, asking where God was watching us from, she heard God was an all seeing, all knowing being, that had commands that were paramount to follow. Asking again how can she see God. She often heard God is unseen, and is everywhere and in everything and every one, so she searched for God and found him nowhere, in noone and in nothing, although she did sense the presence of the unseen all knowing God everywhere she went, and told noone about it.

She became aware at the age of 7 of the sacraments of the religion she was baptised into, and she was about to enter the second and third sacraments, confession and communion.

The priest her  allocated confesser, 7 years of age and confessing what, she had to create ill deeds in her mind so she could say something to be given a penance for,,,, she would rack her conscious and found no guilty sins so she created sins for the sake of her confesser requirements.

No sins just the silence within to enable her these , self created illusions to fit the narrative,, this religion was intrusive and created imaginings that fed unwanted attachments of actions she wasn't fond of.

Being good for nothing she is raised as a child that was here to be good for GOD.

In later years she learnt in this world nothing and nowhere and noone and God are one of the same.

In order to be good for nothing she'd learnt to spell effectively, 

She repeated, I am good for nothing, therefore I am good for knowing things.

I am going nowhere, became, I am going, i know where.

Noone is ever going to want her,  became, know one is with her.

This empowered her heart and gave her a confidence in her knowing, for she is good she knows a thing or two and she knows where to find her way through life, and in the company of her knowledge of her ability to know one, she was complete within and had a mission to accomplish with noone nowhere for nothing and there was only her understanding of this to behold.  

And furthermore to thank her mother for her belief and wisdom that she kept as she confused her daughter to preserve her insights whilst she was under her living protection.

You got to be cruel to be kind, her mother would announce, her daughter would reply, yes mum, but surely in the right measures ⚖️

She had a very deep understanding of her mother and this was reciprocating, they shared deep love, the daughter born with a much deeper compassion which got them through the years together, her mother loved her, and she felt the love, that's what matters and what matters still.

Love you mum.

Her mother requested a poem for her resting stone, it reads,

"Take life by the roots

And sap every drop therein,"

'Jean x'

Her request was granted by her daughters that remained as she departed from her skin and bones, her ashes in the wind she's now gone home.

And her requested words are the rit on her stone.🪨💎🗿

IF

you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream-and not make dreams your master; If you can think-and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with Kings-nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And-which is more-you'll be a Man, my son!

~ Rudyard Kipling